I have been working to support a Lovely Lady with her confidence in driving.
She is mature and has had multiple high-powered jobs, yet a series of circumstances had left her, as she described it, anxious about driving at night or places that she does not know.
She was focused on the faults, the negative, and the resultant anxiety.
I listened at length (she had no barriers, luckily for me). Her issues began in her teenage years…. and she just spoke and described and spoke and described. I did not seek the abundance of information she gave. She was just ‘ripe’ to bursting point with her need to move on – so I take no credit!!
I will not relay the traumas.
I am no therapist, and I was very conscious that I was walking on dangerous ground.
We discussed those as facts and history.
With the flood of information over, we looked at solutions and positive ways to anchor her in the Present. The Present is where she is, and she knows she has achieved incredible things.
She knows she is very bright and she can drive well and safely and has driven thousands of miles professionally and socially.
She knows this is a new situation… and she has the answers!!
We agreed that the past is in the past.
We are looking for some solutions right now, in the Present.
If we keep referring to the past, our brains will stay stuck there.
The reason for my post is a reminder that we can use senses to anchor. The past anchor is already set in the mind.
It is the ‘anchor’ in the Present that we can initiate.
My wonderful lady is passionate about essential oils, incense and pleasant aromas.
Perfect!
She knew about anchoring but had not thought of it with driving.
She uses a smell to anchor in anytime she does something when driving. It does not need to go particularly well or be significantly advanced. Just ok is worth a niff!
She needs to enjoy the smell to associate achievement, and nothing ‘bad’ happened.
That it was just normal – or she dealt with something – or she forgot about it all and was simply driving and enjoying it!
She has the smell in the car, in her handbag occasionally on her wrists, and sniffs on it before driving to reinforce that it is just a normal thing she has done thousands of times.
The important thing is to sniff after – to reinforce the ‘it was all good’ anchor!
This is her story – I just happened to be near when she told it.
Nothing works for everyone!
This is working incredibly well for her. Even her Husband is astounded!
We did find other solutions, like:
- A duplicate sat nav, power supply, and internet source are permanently in the car.
- Some dependable ‘phone a friend’ options day and night
- The ‘not yet’ option for any potential journey. The ‘not yet’ is freeing and also positive that it is still possible… at some point!
We had such a laugh together.
There are as many types of anchors as there are senses to hook them in! Be experimental!
I think I need to give her a ring to hear how things are going.
Thanks for reading.
FIONA TAYLOR
Driver Trainer and Coach
Former Btec Level 4 Course Presenter (DVSA Recognised Coaching Qualification for Driver Education)
Former Btec Level 4 Course Presenter (DVSA Recognised Coaching Qualification for Driver Education)
NDORS Registered NSAC NMAC WDU & SCD Coach/Trainer
Standards Check Trainer
Part 2 and 3 Rescue Coach
Standards Check Trainer
Part 2 and 3 Rescue Coach
aCCeLerate Trainer
DriverMetrics Accredited Coach
DriverMetrics Accredited Coach
Visit Fiona’s website for more information and our workshops to know more about how you can confidently drive.
